Day 6

Ya know, mercy comes in strange sizes and shapes. We went home last night, got a full night's sleep, took care of things around the house, and then headed to the hospital, seemingly refreshed.

The first thing we found out was that Peyton had stopped breathing at one point in the morning. Evidently the doctors had extubated her at some point in the morning. She was fine on her own for an hour, and then suddenly stopped. They quickly worked to get her breathing again and ended up intubating her again.

Had I been there, I'm sure I would have hit the ceiling after the turmoil of yesterday. Hearing about it after the fact, well, there was immediate relief that I didn't have to endure that first hand; however, now, there's more sadness. Silly us, we were hoping to hold her today for the first time since catheterization.

To make today even harder, I had to stop touching Peyton. My touch calms her down, and what we need is for her to get mad about the breathing tube so that she's got enough fight to take control of her breathing again. Then we can extubate her. So I read to her instead, but on hindsight, that may have had the same impact as touching her. Hrumph!

She's still on the blood thinners. They've added two medicine to the drip. One will make her urinate more often to reduce extra fluids in the blood, helping the heart pump more of what's important. The other, to help the heart pump more effectively. (It's late, so I recall the exact drug names.) They did an ultrasound of her brain looking for bleeding because of the thinners, and we hadn't heard the official results yet, but the attending was optimistic since the technician didn't run and get him right away.

Once they extubate Peyton, the plan is to stop the IV feeding and start a drip line in her stomach with actual momma milk.

The surgery is scheduled for Wednesday. I don't know what time yet, but I'll post an update when I do.

Rayna's body is having a tough go with the stress. Her milk production was half what it had been, and she's getting some strong abdominal cramps (evidently common for 1st time moms under stress).

I went to a Good Friday service tonight with Wayne (Rayna's dad) and the Parkers. It was good to go somewhere other than home and the hospital. It was great to be received by so many people loving on me and praying for my family. I held myself together until almost the end when exhaustion defeated the last of my emotional defenses. David Pemberton, my apologies to you, man, if I got your shirt dirty cause I lost it. I just sobbed for what felt like an eternity.

God, I need you more. Renew and strength me and Rayna. Refine our character that we may walk in your ways and look more like your Son to those watching.